GQ Names 25 Least Influential People Alive

30 11 2011

The most useless bastards of 2011,” now this is a list I can get behind.

I love a good humor column. The fact that the chaps (specifically Drew Magary, on loan from DeadSpin) over at Gentlemen’s Quarterly are picking on celebrities just makes me smile bigger!!

Memorable quips:
On Tim Pawlenty:  “…spent much of 2011 as a six-foot-tall paperweight, an aggressively forgettable fellow perfectly suited to the role of debate filler. The $1 million he spent to lose the Iowa straw poll might as well have been burned in front of a group of orphans.”

On Princess Beatrice (pictured in her Royal Wedding fascinator hat): “Take note, Americans: The British have just as many embarrassing hillbilly cousins as we do.”

On Hank Williams Jr: “The hilarious thing about Hank’s getting “fired” from ESPN for comparing President Obama to Hitler is… Exactly what the fuck did he get “fired” from? His “job” consisted of wearing sunglasses indoors and spending a few days each year recutting that god-awful Monday Night Football song he wrote twenty-seven years ago (a song that wasn’t even originally written for that program). Welfare recipients have fifty times the annual workload of this man.”

On January Jones: “Thanks to the contract squabble that delayed Mad Men until 2012, we didn’t even get to see Jones in the one thing that justifies her existence.”
On Leo Apotheker & the HP TouchPad: “Two thousand years from now, anthropologists will dig up a TouchPad and marvel, “Jesus, this thing looks like a piece of crap. Put it back in the hole.”



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